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===== Jamaica mon is back…… =====

**Larry Goolsby** \\
11/13/05 #772

Dudes……Got in late last night after spending the last week in Jamaica. My trip there was quite eventful starting with an offer from U.S. Airways (while we were in Charlotte, N.C.) to fly an alternate route to Jamaica and they would reward us with 2 roundtrip tickets anywhere in the U.S. or Caribbean, plus a $20 lunch voucher. This would have put us in Montego Bay 1.5 hours after our scheduled arrival. We took the offer and were sent to Miami to catch an American flight from there. About halfway to Miami, we saw a woman run down the aisle of the plane and say something to the stewardess. The stewardess grabbed an oxygen tank and ran to the back of the plane. She then ran back to the front and grabbed a fire extinguisher. What kind of emergency uses both an oxygen tank and a fire extinguisher?

Anyway, while we were trying to figure out what was happening, the plane went into a dive and they announced that we were going to make an emergency landing in Jacksonville, Fla. Turned out to be a fire in one of the bathrooms caused by an electrical short. We now were stuck in Jacksonville and had to wait for a plane to come and get us to take us to Miami. This meant that we would miss our connection in Miami. U.S Airways was pretty good about resheduling us again and rewarded us with another $20 voucher. Once we did make it to Miami, we were blessed with having to go back through ticketing and having someone stamp our ticket with "SSSS" which labeled us as a security risk. We did not realize this until they sent us through a special line in security where they checked every square inch of our bags and bodies. This used up over an hour and we almost missed our re-rescheduled flight. Got into Montego Bay only about 4 hours late but now had to endure a 2 hour ride on rough roads to Ocho Rios.

I was looking forward to doing some paddling at this resort but their idea of kayaking was different than mine. They had these short plastic sit-on-tops made by Hobie that had a beam width that was about half the length. The paddles had huge fat blades, a 90 degree right-hand feather (I use left hand), and weighed over 5 lbs. each. These paddles were really uncomfortable to paddle and I gave it a good hour before I said screw this and headed back in (my arms were getting painful). I asked for a different paddle but the local native said that it was a perfect paddle and that I was the one with a problem.

The resort was all inclusive with a liquor dispenser in each room (gin, vodka, rum, and brandy) and 7 restaurants. We found that because of the 90 degree heat, it was good to start drinking at about 9 am. Food was great and plentiful. The cool thing about all of this was that the resort had a fleet of Hobie cat sailboats that were free to use as long as you knew how to sail. Of course, I told them that I was a great sailor and knew all about harnessing the wind in 2-3 foots seas (in truth, I had never even set foot a sailboat before). After a couple more drinks we launched our cat and spent the next 10 minutes trying to figure out how to go upwind while the entire beach crew watched and waited for any sign that I might have a clue as to what I was doing. I finally figured out that I could move to either side easily and since the dock was on my right, I cut over the ropes of the swimming area and yelled for people to get the hell out of my way. Once in motion, this sailing thing was easy to master and soon I was able to head out to the open water and out of the sight of the hotel staff.

For the next 3 days, I would drink, snorkel, drink, read, drink, sail, eat jerk chicken, drink some more, sail again, and then retire to my room to get cleaned up for more drinking and eating. I really enjoyed my time on the water while learning how to sail. My only disappointment about this trip was that it took 4 days before someone offered to sell me some pot and we were both standing in neck deep water at the time. I pictured soggy pot, matches and papers so I declined the offer. The pot could have added a new twist to my sailing skills. Our return trip was uneventful and I am ready to head back out into the bay just as soon as I lose this extra 10 lbs. I gained in just one week.

Larry G.
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